A Christmas Treasury
by shopgirl152
Summary: A collection of unrelated Phineas and Ferb stories revolving around the Christmas holiday and its traditions.
1. Baljeet's Christmas Wish (December 2009)

**A/N 1: **Tis the season for Christmas stories, fa-la-la-la-la-lalalala! So, typical drill here: all the Phineas and Ferb Christmas stories, with the exception of one, will be posted here and then the individual stories will be deleted from my account (with the exception of this one, since it's part of my Of Bullies and Nerds series).  
**A/N 2:** The information stated in the parenthesis that come after the title (ex: December 2009), designates the year the story was first written/published to this account as a single story.  
**A/N 3:** Baljeet's Cjristmas Wish is a slight AU from Phineas and Ferb's Christmas Vacation episode.

* * *

Baljeet sat on his front porch, his chin in his hand. He sighed. "Everybody got their Christmas wish. Except me." He sighed again, shaking his fist toward the sky. "All I wanted was one special kiss under the mistletoe! Could you at least give me that?!"

"Hey Baljeet. Whatcha doin?"

Baljeet looked up, rolling his eyes as Buford approached. "Oh. It is just you."

Buford sat down next to his friend. "You look a little down." He paused. "Which is sayin something. You know; because you're short."

Baljeet glared at him. "Yes, thank you. I do not need to be reminded of _that_." He sighed again.

"Come on, talk to Buford."

Baljeet raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Well…okay. I guess that would be alright." He paused. "It's just that…everybody got their Christmas wish." He paused again. "Except me!"

Buford looked at him. "Oh right. You wanted that yucky kiss under the mistletoe."

"It is not yucky! And yes, I did. I do not understand why it did not come true; I have been good all year." He ticked off a list of reasons on his fingers. "I've gotten straight A's in all my classes and got an A at the science fair, thanks to Phineas and Ferb."

"Yeah well, this is to sentimental for Buford. I'm going home." Buford stood up to leave.

Baljeet stood up, hands clenched into fists at his sides. "That's it?! I tell you my Christmas wish and you leave?!"

Buford turned around, walking up to Baljeet so he was nose to nose with him. "Listen loser; Buford is a lot of things, but sentimental? That ain't one of them." He brought up a clenched fist, holding it under Baljeet's nose. "Close your eyes."

Baljeet closed his eyes, scrunching up his face for the blow he knew was coming. "Heh. I was only kidding. You can leave. I will be alright." He opened one eye, gulping as Buford's fist inched closer to his nose. "Please don't punch me; it is Christmas Eve. I really do not want a broken nose."

Buford lowered his arm. "I'm not going to punch you."

"Then why—"

"I said close your eyes!"

Baljeet closed his eyes again. "I fail to see the point—" the rest of the sentence was cut off as he suddenly felt something warm touch his lips. His opened one eye, startled to find himself looking into Buford's eyes. Without thinking, he kissed the boy back.

Buford pulled away quickly, staring at Baljeet. "What'd you do that for?"

Baljeet smirked. "You were the one who started it."

Buford waved the comment away. "Whatever. Don't read into it; I was doing my one nice thing for the year." He turned to walk away, then looked over his shoulder, a faint smile on his lips. "Merry Christmas Baljeet."

Baljeet stood in the snow stunned, watching Buford's retreating back. He put his hands on his hips, calling out over the snow. "That didn't count! There was no mistletoe!"

"Think again loser!"

Baljeet looked around. "What? There is no mistletoe here. He is being…ridicule—oh." He looked up; above his head was a sprig of mistletoe hanging in the doorway, in the exact spot him and Buford had just been standing. He smiled as a faint blush crept up his cheeks. "Merry Christmas Buford; and…thanks."


	2. Oblivious (December 2010)

**A/N: **Shrewd: Sharp in practical matters.

* * *

_Hey Santa,  
__Whatcha doin? This is Isabella Garcia Shapiro from Fireside Girls Troop 46231. But, I guess you already knew that. You are Santa after all.  
__Um, this is kinda embarrassing, but…I'm writing to you because I have one special wish. And I heard you're the one to go to.  
__What I want for Christmas is…Phineas Flynn.  
__He's just so cute and sweet and the inventions he creates are amazing!  
__The problem is, he doesn't really notice me. At all. And it's getting kinda frustrating. I mean—_

"Hey Isabella. Whatcha doin?"

Isabella started, hurriedly trying to hide her letter as Phineas walked over to her. "Oh. Um, nothing."

"Nothing?" Phineas raised an eyebrow. "It certainly looked like you were doing something."

"Nope. Nothing at all." She faked a smile. "It's cool bro."

"Yeeaahh…" He leaned against the doorjamb, casually crossing his arms. "Anyway Isabella, we're building the tallest snowman in Danville. Wanna help?"

"Sure! Let me just get my coat and scarf."

Phineas watched her go, his eyes landing on something on the floor. "What's this?" He picked it up, reading what was written on it. "Dear Santa…"

* * *

_Seconds later_…

"Okay Phineas, I'm good to g—" Isabella's heart stopped for a split second when she realized what Phineas was holding. "I can explain!"

"Huh?" He raised an eyebrow at her. "Explain what?"

"The letter. I me—"

"I understand Isabella. You want me for Christmas. Well, you have me."

Isabella blinked. "I do?"

"Sure! I mean, we're friends right? So by the law of friend probability, if you say you want me for Christmas and we're already friends, then you have me."

"Um…that's not what I meant."

"It isn't?"

"No. I meant…" she studied him. "Um…how much of that did you read?"

"Up to where you said you wanted me for Christmas."

"Oh. Okay."

He leaned over, whispering in her ear. "And the part about me being cute."

She felt her face flush.

Phineas laughed. "It's okay Isabella. I think you're cute too."

"R-really?"

He shrugged. "Hey, I accounted for your cuteness on the cuteness meter didn't I?"

"That's true."

He flung an arm around her shoulders. "Come on Isabella; let's go build the tallest snowman in Danville."

"Um Phineas?"

"Yeah?"

"What did you mean by cute? You know, for this time and when you set the cuteness meter?" She felt him shrug.

"You know…clever. Shrewd."

"Shrewd?!"

He stopped walking, staring at her with a raised eyebrow. "What?"

She blew out a puff of air. "Nevermind."


	3. Christmas Miracle (Dec 2011): Chapter 1

**A/N: **Crossover with the story of the Nativity from the Bible.

* * *

He stood outside in the street, watching the sky. Up above, a star twinkled brightly in the east. It seemed to be staying in the same place, despite the earth's rotation. He'd never seen a star so big or so bright before. It caused something to rise up inside him. A longing. A _yearning_. The familiar urge to explore. To go on an adventure.

A hand touched his shoulder.

"Hey Bro." His brother stood next to him, following his gaze. "See that star?" His brother nodded as he pointed to it. "What do you think it means?"

Ferb shrugged.

"Yeah, I don't know what it means either. But one thing's for sure; I'm going to find out. Ferb, I'm going on an adventure." His brother blinked. "I'm going to find out where that star is and what it means. Because, it has to mean something right?"

Ferb nodded, putting an arm around his shoulders. "I'm ready to help."

Phineas shrugged it off. "Gee Ferb. I was kinda gonna do this, well…alone." His brother stared at him. "I know, I know. It's ridiculous that I would go on an adventure without you. But this star. It's just…I dunno. I kinda feel like I have to do this on my own."

His brother nodded. "I understand. All adventurers must strike out on their own. It's natural."

"Thanks Bro. I knew you'd understand."

"Of course. But before you go, I request that you take him." He bent down, picking up their platypus, who had just wandered into the street.

"You want me to take Perry?"

"For companionship."

"Well…"

"Solo journeys get lonely. You should have at least someone if not me."

Phineas looked at his pet. "Whaddya say boy? Wanna come with me?" The platypus growled. "I'll take that as a yes."

* * *

Phineas zipped up his jacket, making sure his mittens, scarf, and boots were tucked around him properly to prevent snow creeping in. He placed a hat on his head. "How do I look?"

Ferb gave him a thumbs up.

"Great!" He turned to Perry. "You ready boy?" The platypus growled. "Good. Now all we need is a few provisions and we'll be set." He set his backpack on the counter. "Now let's see…"

Perry skittered underneath the dining room table and climbed into his bed. He didn't like the thought of being out in the cold; for once in his life, Doofenshmirtz was on an actual holiday with his daughter, so there was a week free of scheming.

The last thing he wanted to do was spend his time on all fours trudging through the snow. But if Ferb insisted Phineas have companionship for the journey, then he would go along with it.

Sometimes acting like a mindless animal had its drawbacks.

"You ready to go boy?"

He growled in protest, but followed Phineas to the front door anyway. As the boy stepped onto the porch, he placed a paw on the snow and shivered, pulling it back immediately.

"What's the matter Perry?" The boy was silent for a moment, regarding his pet before snapping his fingers. "Your snow boots! I forgot!"

Perry could have groaned as Phineas left the room. He hated those snow boots. They were big, red rubber ones that looked ridiculous on him. Still…

"Here you are boy." Phineas knelt down next to him, picking up one of his paws and gently stuffing it into a boot before doing the same with the other paws. "How's that?"

He placed a boot covered paw on the snow and smiled. He hated the boots, but at least his paws would stay dry.

Phineas wrapped a scarf around Perry's neck. "There. Now we're ready." Perry growled. As he stood up, Phineas felt himself wrapped in a tight hug from behind.

"Please be careful."

He turned around, returning the hug. "No worries Bro. It's all good. I shouldn't be gone too long." He gave his brother another squeeze, and then turned toward the door. "Come on Perry."

The platypus skittered down the steps after him, paws hitting the snow with a soft crunch.

Phineas watched Ferb slowly close the front door before turning towards the street. His breath appeared before him in the cold air. "Come on boy. We better get moving."


	4. Christmas Miracle: Chapter 2

"Now let's see…" Phineas stood in the snow, consulting a map. "The star is in the east and we're pointing in a…northeast direction, so if we…" He knelt down in the snow, spreading the map out. "Much better. It's a good thing this map is laminated and still foldable; otherwise, it would never survive the elements, right boy?" He looked around. "Perry?" A growl came from beside him. Perry was nestled next to him, shivering. "Aww…you're cold, aren't you Pal?"

If Perry could nod, he would have. He wasn't used to being in the snow this long.

"Well…I suppose we could…" Phineas looked down at his jacket. "Let's try this." He unzipped his jacket a little bit, and then picked up his pet. "Hold still Perry. If you wriggle, it might not work."

Perry did as he was told, holding very still as Phineas lifted him up, gently setting him against his chest and zipping up the jacket just enough so his front paws were dangling outside it.

"That better Pal?"

He growled in appreciation.

The boy laughed. "Yeah, feels better to me too. This should keep us both warm." He ruffled his pet's head. "Time to get moving again. I think I figured out which direction we need to be going in."

* * *

"Gee Perry. We've been walking an awfully long time." Phineas paused, looking up at the star. "It sure is beautiful. It looks bigger too. I think we might be getting closer to where it is." A light breeze blew, causing him to shiver. "I don't know how much further I can go; I think it's getting colder. We should probably find shelter."

Perry growled in agreement.

"But…where?" The boy looked around. "We're on the outskirts of Danville. In the country. There doesn't seem to be any—wait a minute!" He spotted something off in the distance. "Light! It looks like's coming from over that hill! I bet it's a house! Come on boy!"

He started running, Perry holding onto the inside of the jacket for dear life. "Just a few more feet and…there!" He paused at the top of the hill to catch his breath. "It looks like an inn. Come on Perry, let's take a closer look."

The platypus chattered a response, grateful Phineas had decided to stop running. Being inside the jacket was nice, but hanging on while the boy ran wasn't. He almost lost his dinner a few feet back.

"Ye Olde Timey Inn." Phineas smiled as he raised a hand to knock on the door. "How serendipitous."

A moment later, the door opened to reveal a heavyset innkeeper. "_What_?"

He flinched at the gruff tone. "Uh…excuse me sir, but…my platypus and I have traveled a long way and would like a room. See we're from Danville and—"

"No room."

"What? But there has to be-"

"No room."

Perry growled, body tense. If he could reveal his identity, he would have sprang to his feet and taken the innkeeper down with one karate kick. But as it was, he would have to be content with growling. Though he would bite if necessary.

"Oh gee. Well, sorry to bother you." Phineas sadly turned from the door, absently rubbing a hand down Perry's bristling back. "I-I guess we can find someplace else to stay."

"Kid, wait." He turned around. The innkeeper smiled at him. "Look, there's no room inside, but if you don't mind roughing it for the night, there is a stable right out back." He pointed to the left. "Just go around that corner and you'll see it."

Phineas smiled gratefully. "Thanks." He nodded to the innkeeper before walking in the direction he was pointing.

Sure enough, a stable came into view. Right up against the inn.

The boy pushed open the door with a heavy creak, letting his eyes adjust to the darkness before walking further in. The scent of manure hit his nose. "Ew. Perry, I think your poop smells better than this."

The platypus snorted, chuckling softly at the comment.

Picking his way across some hay bales, Phineas found a loose pile and lay down in it, letting Perry out of his jacket. "Well boy, looks like this is it for tonight. Let's try to get some sleep. We can look for the star tomorrow."

Perry chattered, gently kneading the hay and circling three times before curling against the boy's chest. Phineas put an arm around him.

"I'm glad I took you along boy." He yawned. "It would've been lonely without you."

Perry smiled, his eyes slowly closing as he drifted off to sleep.


	5. Christmas Miracle: Chapter 3

**Song used: **Little Brothers, from the Season 1 episode Phineas and Ferb Get Busted. Lyrics changed to fit the story.

* * *

Perry woke with a start. He had heard something. But what?

Making sure Phineas was asleep, he stood on two legs, donning his fedora and tip-toeing over to hide behind a beam. If Doofenshmirtz had found them…

But it wasn't Doofenshmirtz. It was someone else. A man and a pregnant woman walked through the door, softly closing it behind them.

He dropped to all fours immediately, listening.

"Joseph, I don't think this is a good idea. Maybe we should try to find another one."

"But Mary, it's Christmas Eve. All the inns are full and there's not another one for miles. Besides, you're pregnant. You need to rest. That baby could come at any time. Remember what the angel said."

_Angel_? Perry slowly skittered forward, only to have a piece of hay snap under his paws. He froze.

"What was that?" The man held up a lantern and a soft circle of light fell on him.

"Oh! It's a platypus!" Mary got down on her knees, clicking her tongue at him. "Come here boy, come here. We're not going to hurt you."

He started to inch forward, only to start when the woman gasped, clutching her stomach.

"Mary!"

"Joseph, it's time. The baby's coming."

He whirled around and scampered back to the pile of hay. Something was happening. He didn't know what it was, but it was something _big_.

* * *

Phineas woke to a weight on his chest. He smiled. "Hey Perry." The platypus stared at him with wide eyes. "What's wrong? Did something scare you? Did you have another bad dream?" He went to pet him, only to have Perry jump off him, running around in circles.

"Whoa whoa!" He grabbed Perry around the middle. "Hey, calm down. What's gotten into you all of a sudden?" Phineas started to lift his pet up, only to have the platypus jump from his arms.

He landed squarely on all fours, looking over his shoulder at the boy.

"You want me to follow you?" Perry chattered, walking a little ways ahead. When Phineas started to follow him, he allowed himself to be picked up.

Phineas cuddled him to his chest. "Silly boy," he whispered. He began walking toward the front of the stable. "What's wrong boy? Why are you acting like this?" He stopped and stared, blinking.

There, resting against a pile of hay was a man and a woman. Next to them was a feeding trough.

"Uhh…"

"Hello there," the man greeted. "I'm Joseph and this is my wife Mary."

"Hello." She smiled kindly at him. "What's your name?"

"Phineas."

"That's a lovely name."

He smiled. "Thanks."

"And what about your friend here?" Joseph asked, pointing to the platypus. "We saw him earlier."

"You saw Perry?" Phineas asked. He looked down at his pet. "So that's why you were running around! You knew they were here!"

"I'm afraid we may have scared him. You see, my wife and I came in here to find shelter. We saw your pet and were trying to coax him over, but then Mary went into labor. We didn't mean to frighten him."

"Oh." Phineas blinked. "Uh…what's labor?"

Mary looked at him. "How old are you?"

"Ten."

She smiled. "Labor means I had a baby."

"Ohhh…" His face brightened. "Neat. But…where is he?"

"Right here." The woman put a hand on the feeding trough. "Would you like to see him?"

"Yes Ma'am!"

She smiled. "It's alright. Go ahead."

Phineas hugged Perry to him, slowly stepping over to the feeding trough and peering into it. "Look at that boy," he whispered. Lying in the trough was a baby boy. He kicked his feet, staring wide-eyed at the new comers.

Perry looked into the trough in wonder. Something was different about this baby. He made no noise, didn't cry or fuss. Just stared at them, cooing and gurgling.

Things were brighter around the child. Warmer. Happier. There almost seemed to be a circle of light around the baby's head. It was too faint to tell.

Perry sighed, feeling a love, a warmth, a peace he had never known before, even when being held by Phineas. He struggled against the boy's hold. He had to get closer to this baby.

"Perry? Wha—Perry, hold still!" Phineas clutched his pet around the waist in an attempt to get a better hold. "Perry, no!"

The woman laughed. "It's alright Phineas. You can let him go. He'll be fine with him, I promise."

He let Perry go, allowing him to slip into the feeding trough. He watched in amazement as Perry gently nudged the baby, chattering softly. The baby put his arm around the platypus and snuggled with him.

"Wow."

Joseph chuckled softly. "I think they like each other."

"Yeah." Phineas smiled. "So, what's his name?"

"Jesus."

"Jesus?" The boy blinked. "Uhh…no offense, but that's a funny name for a baby."

Joseph smiled. "It's a special name. We were told to give it to him."

"By who?"

"So many questions." Mary smiled kindly, putting a hand on his shoulder. "It's a long story Phineas. Just know that this baby is very important, very special and loves you very much."

"Me? But he doesn't even know me."

"He knows you Phineas; better than you know yourself. And he loves everybody equally."

"Gosh." He stared at the ground. "A baby that should important should be given a gift." His eyes fell to something in the corner. "What are those?"

"Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh. They're special perfumes and oils. Three kings brought them to us. You were still sleeping I think. They're very important gifts."

"I want to give him a gift too." His face fell. "But I have nothing to give."

Joseph knelt down next to him. "Everyone has something to give Phineas. No matter how small."

"But I—wait!" He snapped his fingers. "I know what I can give him!" He walked over to the feeding trough, staring down at the now sleeping baby and platypus. "Well Jesus, this isn't much, but I hope you like it." He started to sing. "Little baby, your toes and feet and hands are cold. But it is warm here. And you are special I am told. Even though you're very small, you will grow to be quite tall. Little baby, you are loved and you are special, so I'm told."

_Even when you're very old  
__I will remember…_

"Little baby, you are loved and you are special, so I'm told."

Perry opened an eye and chattered, gently climbing over the baby and hopping into Phineas' arms.

"Hey Pal." He closed his eyes, stroking Perry's back. When he opened them, he got a surprise. "Hey! Jesus is smiling at me!"

Joseph smiled, a tear in his eye. "Yes, yes he is."


	6. Christmas Miracle: Chapter 4

"You going to be alright getting home Phineas?" Joseph asked, looking down at the boy. "It's a long walk back to Danville."

"Perry and I will be fine. Right boy?" Perry chattered in agreement.

"I guess that settles it then."

Phineas adjusted the backpack on his shoulders. "Thanks for the food. You really didn't have to give us your leftovers. We would have been fine."

"It was my pleasure."

"There's one thing I still don't understand."

"What's that?"

"All this time, Perry and I set out to find a star and we never found it."

Joseph knelt down, pointing to the sky. "Look up little one. It's closer than you think."

Phineas looked up, eyes widening. There, shining above them, was the star. It was bigger and brighter than he could have imagined. He swooped Perry up, spinning around. "The star! We found it! It was here all along Boy!"

Perry chattered weakly, his stomach knotting. Thankfully, Phineas set him down just as quickly.

The boy grinned. "Thanks Joseph. For everything."

"You're welcome. Now be careful Phineas."

"I will!" He called over his shoulder as he left. He turned to Perry. "Can you believe everything that happened tonight? I can't wait to tell Ferb!"

* * *

Ferb stood out in the snow, anxiously checking his watch. Phineas and Perry had been gone for several hours and he was starting to get worried.

Just as he was ready to call Isabella and a form a search party, he heard something.

"Ferb! Ferb!" Phineas came tearing across the yard, Perry hot on his heels. He skidded to a stop in front of him. "Ferb! Bro! You're not gonna believe the night we just had! That star? It was shining over a stable. It was huge! We ended up sleeping in the stable because it was cold and the inn was full and then…"

Ferb smiled. He couldn't get a word in if he tried.

"And then Perry climbed into the feeding trough with him and they snuggled and they told me his name was Jesus. They said he loved me very much and that he's a really important baby. I don't know how important, but I know it's big! And then I sang him a song and then…and then…" He put his hands on his knees, gasping for breath.

Ferb put a hand on his brother's shoulder. "You met the Messiah."

Phineas stared at him. "The wha-?"

"The Messiah. And this will be a sign into you: you shall find the Babe wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger."

"Still not following Bro."

Ferb laughed. "I'll show you. I'll—"

But before he could finish, Perry raced past them, headed for the house.

Phineas blinked. "Wow. I wonder where he's going?"

* * *

Perry raced into the house, desperate to find it before the boys did. Something Ferb said had hit him and he had to find out if it was true. He would have been afraid of stealing it if it weren't for the fact that Ferb had one in his room.

A quick sweep of the living room and he found it. He was about to grab it in his jaws when he realized that to drool over it might be considered sacrilege.

He got to his feet, gently picking the leather book up and tucking it under his arm.

Making sure the boys were still outside, he dived into his lair entrance behind the painting above the couch. If anyone knew, it would be him.

The second his feet hit the lair, he back flipped across it and landed squarely next to a door. He opened it, despite the sign that read Restricted Access.

"Agent P?" Carl turned from his computer, staring at him. "Agent P, you're not supposed to be in here. This is Mission Control, you know that." He paused. "Although Monogram _is_ gone, so I guess its okay. What are you doing here anyway? I thought you were on vacation." Perry climbed onto a nearby chair, handing the book to the intern.

"The Bible? You want me to read this to you? You never cared before. Why now?"

He scrambled over to the computer, typing frantically. _Phineas and I saw a baby tonight. He was in a stable lying in a feeding trough. There was a big star over it._

"A star?" Carl got up, pulling back the curtain and looking out the window. His eyes widened. "Oh my." He sat down quickly, legs shaking. "Agent P, what else was there?"

More typing. _They said his name was Jesus. That he loved everyone and was very important. The parents were named Mary and Joseph. I felt this warmth and peace around the baby._ The typing paused for a moment, only to resume at a much slower pace. _Am I crazy_?

Carl put a hand on Agent P's shoulder. "You're not crazy Agent P. It's all right here." He patted the book. "We'll start in Luke Two." He opened the book and began to read. "And in those days, a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the people in the district be taxed…"

As Perry listened to the story, it all became clear. Every word of the story was true. He had met the baby Jesus and Phineas had sung to him. They had witnessed a Christmas miracle.

"Fear not, for I bring you tidings of great joy which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David, a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you. You shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger."

"And suddenly there was within the heavens a multitude of angels, singing 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, goodwill toward men.'" Carl closed the book, looking at the O.W.C.A Agent before him. He smirked. "That's what Christmas is all about Perry the Platypus."

Perry raised a brow.

"Sorry. I just had to say that."

* * *

**A/N:** Well, that's it for this story. Next one will be posted tomorrow, so stay tuned!


	7. Giftwrapping a Platypus (December 2011)

Phineas sat cross legged on his bed, listlessly paging through a toy catalogue. "No, no, no, no." He sighed, finally flipping the book closed. This year was the first Christmas he would get to spend with his new stepbrother. The two had met six months ago, and three months after that, his Mother and Ferb's Father had gotten married.

Now not only did he have the chance to spend this Christmas (as well as other Christmases) with his new best friend, he needed to find the perfect gift.

Trouble was, his new stepbrother was hard to buy for. The British born five year old was quiet, always carrying around his Union Jack and hardly saying anything. When he did speak, it was to say something random such as "the platypus is the only mammal to lay eggs."

He was quiet, but Phineas found his new brother fun and the best listener in the whole world. His brow furrowed as he glanced around the room. "Perry?"

Him and his brother's new pet platypus answered with a growl, skittering out from underneath Ferb's bed. He smiled, absently reaching down and scratching the platypus on the back. "Hey Perry. What should I get Ferb for Christmas? He's really hard to buy for and I have no idea what he likes." The platypus growled a response, closing his eyes contentedly.

Phineas went back to thinking. "Skateboard? No. Toolbox?" He scrunched his nose up. "What would Ferb do with a toolbox? Um...gee, this is harder than I thought."

Tired of being on the floor, Perry scrabbled up onto the bed, circling three times before laying back down. Phineas yawned. "Nap sounds good..." he started to lay down. "No, gift for Ferb first." His knuckles absently walked down Perry's back. "Maybe something to make Ferb happy. Something we both like. If he's happy, then I'm happy. But...what makes us both happy?"

Perry stretched, growling in contentment. Phineas smiled. "Wow Perry, you sure are happy. And when you're happy-" his eyes suddenly lit up. "That's it!" He crouched down, looking his pet straight in the eye and poking a finger at him. "You're the gift! You're what makes both me and Ferb happy!" Without further explanation, the five year old bounded out of the room.

Perry gulped. He had a bad feeling about the look in the boy's eyes. They spoke of nothing but mischief.

* * *

"Okay, I think I have everything." Phineas walked back in the room a few minutes later, arms loaded with giftwrapping supplies. He dumped the pile on the floor, taking inventory. "Ribbons, bows, giftwrap, tape, bells, nametag, lights, garland, scissors..."

Perry's eyes shot open. Who gave a five year old scissors? He jumped off Phineas bed, skittering back under Ferb's. It was safer there.

"Glue gun, extra tape, more wrapping paper, glitter, regular glue and...that's it." The five year old looked around, scratching his head. "Hey, where's Perry?"

The platypus looked out from under the safety of the bed as Phineas got down on his hands and knees, crawling around the room.

"Perry? Perry, where are you?"

Perry smirked. Hiding from the boy was kind of fun. Like a game of hide-n-seek. Only Phineas was never going to find him. Just as he was getting comfortable enough to relax and go back to sleep, he felt himself grabbed from behind.

"Gotcha!"

He frantically scratched the floor, trying to get a grip on anything that would prevent him from being pulled out from under the bed. As his nails lost their hold, he grabbed one of Ferb's shoes, only to find it dragged along the floor with him.

"Perry! Come on! I have to giftwrap you for Ferb!"

The platypus let go of the shoe, chucking it to the side and wrapping his arms around one of the bed legs as a last resort. He growled in annoyance as his watch beeped.

"Good morning Agent P." Major Monogram popped up on the screen. "As part of your agent training today, you-great googely moogely! What's going on over there?! Why are you holding onto a bed leg?"

"It's Phineas Sir." Carl's face popped up on the screen. "He's trying to get Agent P to do something he obviously doesn't want to do."

"How do you know that?"

"He's holding onto the bed leg Sir."

"Oh. Er...right." Major Monogram looked around awkwardly. "Well Agent P, since you're otherwise engaged at the moment, we'll reschedule your training for tomorrow. So...good luck." The Major clicked off.

Perry was about to growl in protest when the watch beeped again and Carl appeared on the screen.

"Hey Agent P. Uh, look. Whatever Phineas is doing, let him do it. Things will go much much smoother if you allow yourself to integrate with your host family. I gotta go. Bye."

He gave an audible sigh, letting go of the bed leg and allowing himself to be dragged out by the tail.

Phineas glared at him. "Bad platypus." He picked his pet up, walking over to the giftwrapping supplies and setting him down. "Where to start?"

Perry watched the boy for a moment before slowly backing up. Unfortunately, Phineas caught him.

"No." The boy picked him up, setting him down on some unfurled wrapping paper. "Stay."

The platypus chattered, lying down on the paper. There was no way he was going to win this; Phineas was to smart for his own good. He'd never get away with sneaking off again. He watched as the boy surveyed the supplies.

"Let's start with the glue gun..."

* * *

_Two hours later…_

"So boy, what do you think?" Phineas placed his pet in front of the mirror. "Like it?"

He looked like a Christmas tree. His entire body, including his legs, was wrapped in red and green striped wrapping paper. Around the wrapping paper, Phineas had glued golden garland, fixing the loose edges with lots of tape. A red bead necklace strung with bells hung around his neck as well as his ankles, causing him to jingle when he walked. Tied around his waist was a red ribbon complete with a bow. On top of his head, Phineas had fashioned a hat with a gold star on the top.

The boy knelt down, tying the hat on with red string. "There. Now you look perfect."

He growled in response, deciding to humor the five year old.

"Great!" Phineas got up, headed for the door. "Now stay right there. I have to go find Ferb and show you to him. Be right back."

Perry lied down as Phineas left the room. There was no way he was leaving the house looking like this.

* * *

"Ferb! Ferb! Ferb, come upstairs! I have something to show you!" Ferb looked up from his blocks as his new stepbrother barged into the living room, latching onto his arm. "Come on! I have to show you something!" The green haired boy didn't move. "Ferb come on! I made you a Christmas present today!"

That caught his attention. "Christmas present?" He stood up, dusting himself off. "Where?"

"Upstairs! Come on! I'll show you! You're gonna love it!" Phineas grabbed his hand, practically hauling him upstairs. Once they reached the landing, the red head let go, standing outside their shared bedroom. "So I wanted to get you something special for Christmas, since this is our first Christmas as brothers." He grinned. "But I didn't know what to get you. I thought of all these things and I looked through all the toy catalogues, but nothing seemed to fit. And I wanted to get you the perfect gift. Then it occurred to me: I should get you a gift that would make you happy. So it couldn't be any old gift and it had to be a gift we could share. I don't have any money and Mom already went to the store, so…" Phineas stopped, appearing to pause for breath. "So I got you the next best thing. Something we already have and that makes both of us happy. Something we can share."

Ferb raised an eyebrow.

"So now, I give you…the best Christmas present ever!" Phineas opened the bedroom door with a flourish, motioning inside. "Perry the Platypus!"

Perry chattered as Ferb stepped inside the room, his jaw dropping at the sight. There before him stood the family pet, decked out in Christmas splendor, complete with a star on top of his head. If Ferb didn't know any better, he'd say Perry looked more like a Christmas tree than a present. He clamped a hand over his mouth, stifling a giggle. He had to admit; his new brother was pretty creative.

"So do you like it? I mean, it's just Perry, but—"

Ferb put a hand on his brother's shoulder. "It's a great Christmas present."

Phineas wiped his forehead in relief. "Whew. I was afraid you wouldn't like it." Ferb just smiled. "So…do you think we should leave him like that?"

Perry growled. If Phineas so much as left him this way for another second…he turned as Ferb knelt down next to him, scratching his head before taking off the hat.

"Well, every present is meant to be unwrapped."

Phineas grinned. "You're right! Let's unwrap him!" He took off the bead necklace and anklets, causing the platypus to sigh. "Hey Ferb, I think he likes that we're unwrapping him."

Ferb smiled, giving his stepbrother a thumbs up as he started to remove the last of the wrapping paper. He was going to like spending Christmases with his new brother


	8. Mistletoe Mishap (December 2011)

**A/N 1: **Okay Jet Engine, here's the Perryshmirtz story I told you about. I wrote this back in 2011. Hope you enjoy it!  
**A/N 2: **After seeing Perry deliberately dodge the mistletoe in "A Phineas and Ferb Family Christmas," I started wondering why he dodged it. This story is a result of that.

* * *

Perry barged into Dr. Doofenshmirtz's lair, quickly dodging the mistletoe. Only to be trapped underneath it a second later.

"Ah Perry the Platypus." The Doctor emerged from the shadows. "Do you like my new trap? I call it the Trapped Under the Mistletoeinator." He stepped on a button at the base of the trap, causing it to rise up so he was eye level with it.

"You see Perry the Platypus, back in Gimmelshtump we had this tradition. Every year on Christmas Eve, my family would go out to the backyard and play kickball. And after every match, the winner got a kiss under the mistletoe from a fraulein. And every year, just like always…" here the doctor spat. "My brother _Roger_ won. Every year, the same thing: a kiss under the mistletoe for Roger. Was there ever one for me? Nooo. I never got one kiss. Not. One. Do you have any idea how depressing it is not to have a kiss under the mistletoe Perry the Platypus? It's humiliating! I mean, mistletoe kissing is the ultimate Christmas tradition! And so, because of that, I built this trap."

He paused, staring at his nemesis. "Heh. This is a little awkward, but…I have to kiss you. See, not only are you trapped under the mistletoe, which I planned, but I would like to have at least one kiss under the mistletoe so I can experience it." The doctor looked around. "I would kiss a fraulein, but…uh…I haven't had luck with women since high school. See there was this one woman I took to the drive through and…you know what? Nevermind. I don't want to talk about it. Anyway Perry the Platypus, this will only take a minute."

Perry squirmed as the doctor placed both hands on his shoulders, anchoring him to the trap. His eyes widened.

"Oh don't look at me like that Perry the Platypus. This will be more embarrassing for me than it will be for you, trust me. Now stop squirming."

The platypus flailed, twisting and turning in a desperate attempt to free himself. Doofenshmirtz must have lost his mind if he thought he was going to put up with this. This had to be the worst scheme yet. Perry was about to turn and sock his nemesis in the nose when it happened.

The doctor had only meant to kiss his nemesis on the cheek. But when Perry turned to punch him, the kiss landed smack on the monotreme's bill.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz froze, slowly opening an eye. His nemesis stared at him in horror and what the doctor could only assume was surprise.

The pair stayed lip locked for several seconds until the Doctor pulled away. "Heh. Okay, maybe more embarrassing for you."

The platypus gulped.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz looked around awkwardly. "So…normally I'd say 'curse you Perry the Platypus,' but I don't feel like cursing you for some reason. It's weird really."

Perry watched as the Doctor lowered the trap to the floor, bending over and setting him free. He gave the doctor a weak smile as the two stood there staring at each other.

"So…I guess I'll see you some time tomorrow?" The platypus nodded, heading for the door. "Perry the Platypus?" He turned around, eyeing the Doctor in front of him. "Let's agree to never speak of this again."

The platypus gave a thumbs up in agreement before walking out the door, closing it behind him.

But it wasn't until he was standing outside the Doctor's apartment that he realized something: the sudden rush of adrenaline he'd experienced while kissing the Doctor was gone.

He paused in thought a moment, smacking himself in the face seconds later.

Best not to think about it.


	9. Secret Santa (December 2013)

He didn't know what to get them. He had racked his brain for the past week trying to come up with something. But, what do you get two boys who can build anything?

Perry sighed, pacing back and forth across his lair. He had been in here for hours; it was Christmas Eve and he was running out of time. He sighed, taking off his fedora and gently detaching the replication device. He aimed it at the wall, clicking past Dr. Doofenshmirtz's various Inators before landing on the boys' summer creations.

Rollercoaster. Spinning Tops. Continent Painter. Robot Dog. Tricked out Linda's car (various times); treehouse robots; the Beak suit; the baseball launchers; all appeared before him. He hit the off button, causing the replicated inventions to disappear immediately. What he needed was something unique, something the boys hadn't built yet.

But what? Nothing could rival these inventions. Nothing could even come close. Unless of course a box of various odds and ends appeared under the tree.

He cracked a smile. With that kind of gift, they could build anything they wanted. Ferb's toolbox alone could provide the mechanics of an invention. Though not all of the inventions were considered "street legal" as Ferb had once put it. Perry had heard the green haired boy mention that once or twice.

But what sort of gift was a box containing various odds and ends? He sighed. Maybe a walk around the backyard would help. It would give him some fresh air and clear his head. Quickly, Perry did a few back flips, landing squarely on his feet in one of the tubes that lead into the garage.

The platform in the tube shot up and minutes later, he emerged into the garage. Only to be met by the sound of a loud crash.

"Dang it!" Ferb let out an annoyed growl as his toolbox clattered to the floor, spilling nails, screws, fasteners, duct tape, slide rules and various types of wood glue over the garage.

"Ferb!" Phineas ran into the garage. "Ferb! What happened?! I heard this crash and—" his eyes landed on the mess. "Dude, did your toolbox break again? I thought you reinforced it with heavy steel from our last project?"

"I did."

"Huh. Well, that's odd." He picked up a piece from the floor. "Ferb, look at this." The green haired boy peered over his brother's shoulder. "It looks like it's rusted. But…over night? Rust is quick, but it's not that quick. I don't understand; this toolbox is brand new. How could it be rusted already?"

Perry froze. So that was what the Doctor's Rustinator hit yesterday.

"Well Bro, looks like we better get a new toolbox. This one appears to be on its last legs." Ferb sighed, opening his wallet. Phineas watched in wonder as something flew out of it. "Wow. When an actual moth flies out of your wallet, that's _really_ bad news."

"No money."

"At all?" He shook his head.

Phineas slung an arm around his brother's shoulders. "Don't worry Ferb. It's Christmas Eve. We're bound to get some spending money tomorrow." He looked at the rusted toolbox. "Besides, we're on Christmas Break. It probably wouldn't hurt to take a break from building things anyway." Ferb nodded and the two disappeared into the house.

Perry grinned as he emerged from behind one of the workbenches. He knew what to get the boys for Christmas. Now he just had to find it.

* * *

He spent the rest of the day scouring the Googleplex Mall, Superduper Mega Superstore and various hardware stores around Danville. But every place seemed to say the same thing:

"I'm sorry, but we're all out of toolboxes."

"No toolboxes here, sorry."

"Sorry platypus. We just ran out today."

"Oh! You want a toolbox? Yeah, we had—oh. Sorry. Looks like we just sold our last one." The shopkeeper gave him an odd look. "Hey, what do you want with a toolbox anyway?"

Perry merely tipped his fedora to the man before quickly leaving the store. He trudged through the streets, absently kicking aside snow drifts. He consulted his watch: only several hours before it officially became Christmas. There had to be another place to get a toolbox.

Suddenly, a thought occurred to him. The Doctor. He had received a spate of toolboxes yesterday. Which, if the platypus remembered correctly, was the reason Doofenshmirtz had created a Rustinator. Something about toolboxes never working correctly and drawers opening up and things falling out…

He really couldn't remember the Doctor's entire rant; after a while, all the rants tended to sound the same. But that didn't matter at this point. Before thinking further on it, Perry was off like a shot, tearing down the street. If he was lucky, Dr. Doofenshmirtz would still have at least a few toolboxes left.

* * *

The platypus arrived at the Doctor's apartment in record time. Quickly, he did a handspring up to the door of the main building, using his tail to press the intercom button.

"Hello? Who's there?"

Perry righted himself, hopping onto the handrail before pushing the button and growling into it.

"Perry the platypus? Is that you? Wait. Why are you buzzing the intercom? I mean, normally you would just bust through one of my windows or show up on my balcony. Don't get me wrong; this is very courteous of you, but—"

He rolled his eyes; with the Doctor's usual monologing, this could take the rest of the evening. He was rapidly running out of time. He pressed the button again, growling.

"You know, you could at least let me finish a sentence. I was going to say that this is very courteous of you to ring my buzzer, but…really Perry the platypus; I thought you had better manners." Perry pulled his arm back, ready to give the intercom a punch when the Doctor's voice came over the speaker. "Although, since you did show courtesy by ringing the buzzer and not, you know, _breaking in_ again, I supposed I could just let you in. Hang on a moment; I have so few visitors that I don't know where the unlock button is." A pause. "Did I just say that out loud? You know, I'm not really that lonely. Really."

The monotreme hopped off the railing, softly landing on the stoop. He crossed his arms, tapping his foot impatiently as Doofenshmirtz prattled on.

"You know, I could have sworn the button was around here somewhere…oh wait. Here it is!" Another pause. "No, that's a bowl of mints. Why do I always mistake them for buttons? Oh wait. Here it is!" A loud click was heard and the door in front of him swung inward, inviting him into the warm glow of the hallway. He chattered, habitually tipping his hat to the intercom before stepping over the threshold and making his way to the elevator.

* * *

A few floors, and several passengers later, the elevator dinged on the correct floor. Perry stepped out into the hallway, making his way down to the Doctor's apartment. He stopped at the door and knocked.

"Who is it?"

He growled.

"Oh! Perry the platypus! Hang on just a min—ah!" The platypus cringed as a loud crash was heard from behind the door. "I'm okay. Really. Just one moment—ow!" Another crash was heard, followed by the sound of stumbling. The door opened a crack and Perry walked inside, finding Dr. Doofenshmirtz sitting on the floor of his apartment, cradling his right foot. "Oh these darn toolboxes."

He motioned around the room. "You see Perry the platypus, ever since—wait, why am I telling you this? You foiled my rustinator scheme yesterday." His eyes narrowed. "Thanks to you, I have a ton of rusty toolboxes lying around that I don't know what to do with. If it wasn't Christmas Eve, I would build an Inator to dispose of them." He paused. "Which might actually be a good idea. But—Perry the platypus, what are you doing?"

The doctor watched as Perry went from toolbox to toolbox, opening each one in turn, appearing to inspect the inside.

"You know, if you're looking for a toolbox that isn't rusted, you're out of luck. Every single one of these is rusted. Except for…" Doofenshmirtz shut his mouth, watching as the platypus stopped hunting, walking over and facing him. "Forget it Perry the platypus. What have you ever done for me? All you ever do is break in here and foil my plans. You-you could at least act nice and let me win for a change." The monotreme crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at him. "No way. I'm not going to tell you that the only unrusted toolbox is hidden in the back of my closet."

The monotreme brightened, making a beeline for the doctor's bedroom.

"No no no! Wait! I was saving that!" Dr. Doofenshmirtz, went to stand up, only to catch himself. "Ooo…that smarts." He hopped on one foot towards the back of the apartment. "Perry the platypus, don't you dare take that toolbox! I only have one…"

Perry emerged from the back of the room, carrying a toolbox in each paw.

"Huh. Well what do you know?" Doofenshmirtz laughed nervously. "I guess I did have more than one toolbox in the back of my closet. You know, I should really check the quantities on those order forms." He paused, watching as the platypus set one toolbox on the floor, carrying the other one towards the front door. "Hey, where are you going?"

He opened the door, chattering.

"You're-you're leaving? So soon?" The doctor paused, looking behind him as the clock chimed six times. "On Christmas Eve? You-you can't stay?"

His heart sank. He had to get back to the house and get the present ready for the boys. Although…he checked his watch; normally the boys would be looking for him. But since tonight was Christmas Eve…he smiled. The Flynn-Fletchers would be busy; he could spare a few hours. He set the toolbox down by the door and looked at the Doctor.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz returned the smile. "Come on, let's go watch It's a Wonderful Life. I heard it's supposed to be really good."

Perry went to follow him, only to pause. He held up a finger, motioning for the doctor to wait before disappearing into the kitchen. After rummaging around for a few minutes, he walked back out, holding a bag of ice wrapped in a towel. He gently took the Doctor's hand, leading him to the couch.

"Perry the platypus, what you are doing? Are you stealing my ice now? Because, really, that's not anything worth stealing. Unless of course, you know, you're an Eskimo."

The monotreme ignored him, stopping at one end of the couch, motioning to Doofenshmirtz to lie down. The doctor did as he was instructed, propping his head on a pillow and turning on the television as Perry lifted his foot, propping it on another pillow before wrapping the ice around it.

The doctor smiled as the platypus climbed onto the couch, coming to sit near him. "You know, this is kind of nice. Just you, me, and a Christmas classic on TV." He yawned, absently reaching over ands rubbing Perry's head. "Merry Christmas Perry the platypus."

He reached a paw up, ready to smack the hand away…only to pause. He smiled before curling into a ball on the couch, his eyes slipping closed…

* * *

Perry woke with a start, sitting bolt upright on the couch. Where was he? What was going on? What—his clouded thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the clock chiming. He yawned, mentally counting the chimes. Midnight.

It was officially Christmas. He yawned again, blinking sleepy eyes as he curled back into the doctor, his mind slowly processing the information.

Toolboxes. Phineas and Ferb. The doctor. Christmas…

Christmas.

Wait.

His eyes popped open. Now fully awake, the platypus hopped off the couch, carefully covering the Doctor with a blanket before heading for the front door. He had to get home and finish wrapping the present for the boys. They'd be awake in seven hours, if not sooner. The platypus stopped by the lit up Christmas tree on the way out, digging around in his fur before producing a box of almond brittle, setting it underneath the tree.

He chattered quietly before picking up the toolbox and heading out the door. It was the least he could do for the Doctor. As he stepped inside the elevator, he looked down. He had the toolbox; now all he had to do was figure out what to put inside. The platypus smiled. That he could manage.

* * *

After stopping by a late night hardware store to pick up one additional thing, Perry wearily made his way down to his lair. He set the toolbox on his chair by the computer console, opening it and quickly filling the box with various odds and ends before taping a note to the inside of the lid, snapping it shut. He wrapped the present in brightly colored paper, complete with a nametag and bow before picking it up, heading over to one of the tubes in his lair.

The tube shot him up inside the grandfather clock in the living room and he held his paws over his ears as the clock struck two. Carefully opening the glass door, he gently set the toolbox on the floor, quietly sliding it over to the tree. He rearranged a few presents, sliding the box behind something before yawning. He stretched, curled up underneath the tree and promptly fell asleep.

* * *

"Just try to catch me Bro!"

"Not if I catch you first!"

A door slammed against the wall upstairs, waking the platypus from a sound slumber. He yawned, his ears perking up at the sound of running coming from the upstairs landing.

Candace's voice floated down the stairs. "There's no way you two are gonna make it downstairs before me!"

"Oh yeah?" Phineas voice now. Perry slowly crept out from underneath the tree, hiding a smile as the boy came flying down the bannister, hitting the carpet and rolling as Ferb landed beside him. "Alright!" The boys jumped up, high fiving as they raced into the living room. "Whoa! Check out all the presents Bro! There must be hundreds of them!"

"Hey, wait for me-AH!"

The platypus quietly backed underneath the tree, flinching at the sound of Candace hitting the floor over by the stairs.

"Seriously, how do you two do that without getting injured?" She walked past the tree, sitting down on the couch.

"There's a certain technique to it." Phineas voice again. "What do you think this is?"

"Who cares? Gimmie!"

"Candace, you're forgetting what this holiday's about; it's about sharing time with the people you love and giving them presents you put a lot of thought into. It's not about _getting_ the presents."

"Yeah yeah. True meaning of the holiday, giving is better than receiving, blah blah blah."

"Well, now that we've got that out of the way…" the red head got down on his hands and knees, pulling out presents. "Here's one for Ferb, one for me, one for Candace…"

The platypus chattered as two presents were removed from around him. Phineas grinned. "Oh, there you are Perry." He reached underneath the tree, gently grabbing his pet around the waist and pulling him out. He gave him an affectionate scratch on the head. "Where were you last night? Ferb and I were worried about you."

Perry cringed inwardly; he should have never stayed over at the Doctor's. But, at least he had brought the man a little Christmas joy. He shrugged as Phineas placed him off to the side before reaching back under the tree for more presents.

"And a present for Mom and one for Dad and…I think that's everything."

Ferb shook his head, pointing to something underneath the tree.

Phineas shot his brother a quizzical look before turning his attention back to the tree. "Oh. I guess there _is_ one more thing." He slid the present out, reading the tag. "To Phineas and Ferb."

"Who's it from?" Candace asked.

"Dunno. There's no _From_ on it." He looked at his brother. "Since it's addressed to the both of us, do you wanna open it at the same time?"

Ferb nodded, reaching out a hand and pulling on one end of the wrapping paper as his brother pulled on the other end, the two unwrapping the gift.

"Oh wow! It's a new toolbox! Santa must have known you needed a new one Bro!" Phineas whistled, running a hand down the smooth metal. "Look how shiny this one is. There's no rust or anything anywhere. Wonder what it looks like inside?" He unlatched the lid, pausing at something taped to the inside. "Hey look! A note!"

Ferb peered over his brother's shoulder, reading. "This is an imagination toolbox. Inside you will find various odds and ends. Do with them whatever you like; the possibilities are limitless. Love, Your Secret Santa"

"Secret Santa? We didn't plan a Secret Santa this year." Ferb shrugged. "You're right. I guess it's not worth worrying about." The red head dug through the toolbox, pulling several items from it. "String, paperclips, nails, glue-"

Ferb pulled out a hammer, nails, bits and pieces of fabric, some wire and-his eyes widened as he pulled something else from the box. He held it up to his brother.

"Whoa! That's a power drill 5000!" Phineas grabbed it from his brother. "Nice Bro! You've been asking Santa for one of these for a long time now!"

The platypus smiled. The drill had been the big splurge, but the smiles on the boys' faces made it worthwhile.

"So...what do you think we could build with all this stuff?" The red head sat back on his heels in thought. "We could..." his eyes lit up and he grinned. "Ferb, I know what we're gonna do this morning!" He jumped up, grabbing his brother's hand and the toolbox, hauling them upstairs. "This will be our best project yet!"

"Wait a minute. Building something?" Candace grinned. She flung her present onto the couch, racing upstairs. "Mom! Phineas and Ferb are going to build something in the backyard with various odds and ends they found in a toolbox!"

Perry made sure the boys were gone before standing up and stretching. He smiled; another typical Christmas morning in the Flynn-Fletcher household. Now for a nap; it had been a long night.


	10. Tree Lot Shenanigans (December 2014)

**A/N 1:** Oh my gosh; this was soo much fun to write! Anyway, this is a Phineas and Ferb/Gravity Falls Crossover fic and the pairing is Phineas/Dipper. It's mostly a friendship fic with a hint of romance at the end. Enjoy!

* * *

"Ugh. I don't know why you brought me here. It's _freezing_." Dipper ran his hands down his arms. "Couldn't you have picked out a tree yourself?"

"Sure! But it wouldn't be nearly as much fun." Phineas grinned, elbowing the other boy in the ribs. "Come on Dipper, lighten up. It can't be any colder here than it is in Gravity Falls." He blew out a puff of air. "Check it out! I can see my breath!"

"And that's exciting?"

"Yeah! I mean, how many times do you get to see your breath materialize in front of you? Or catch snowflakes on your tongue? It's not Summer, but Winter's kinda cool." The grin widened. "No pun intended."

The other boy smiled.

"Well, I made you smile at least."

"I always smile."

"Not that often."

Dipper sighed, pulling the collar of his coat up for warmth. "Okay man, we're here for a Christmas tree. Let's pick one out."

"Oh contrare. We, Dipper, are not here to pick out just any old tree. We're here to pick out the _ultimate_, the most _spectacular_, most _awesome Christmas Tree ever_!"

"Can't you and Ferb just build one? Mabel showed me photos of some of your inventions." Dipper stopped walking. "Phineas?" A joyful laugh came from somewhere next to him and he cautiously stepped around a Douglas Fir. "Phineas, where are-"

"Gotcha!" The red head popped out of the tree, tackling him to the ground, the two tumbling into a nearby snowdrift.

Dipper yelped as Phineas landed on top of him. "Hey man, not cool."

"Sorry. Couldn't resist." Phineas climbed off him, offering a hand. "We could build a tree, but sometimes it's more fun to do things the old fashioned way. Besides, picking out a tree is a Christmas tradition." A smug look appeared on his face as he pulled Dipper to his feet. "Hey Dipper, whatcha dooin?"

Dipper laughed nervously, roughly shoving his friend. "I'm helping you pick out a tree." He shoved the boy again. "Because you dragged me out here."

The red head returned the shove. "You could have said no."

Another shove, followed by a laugh. "You didn't give me the chance."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

Phineas took a step forward, jamming the baseball cap over his friend's eyes before running off, calling over his shoulder. "Catch me if you can!"

"Hey no fair! You have a head start!" Dipper readjusted his cap before running after the red head.

* * *

"Okay Phineas, I saw you run behind this group of trees. I know you're in here." Dipper tiptoed over to a Fraser Fir, peeking between the branches. "And..."

"Nope. Cold as an iceberg. I'm over here. Follow the sound of my voice."

"Aha!" He parted the branches of another tree.

"Nope. Getting warmer though."

He tiptoed around another tree, only to feel something tap him on the shoulder. "I got you! Wait." Dipper turned around, scratching his head. "Now where-" he spluttered as a snowball hit the side of his face. "Oh, it's _on_ now." He bent down, scooping some snow into his mittened hands and forming it into a ball. "Get ready Phineas. Because you are-" another snowball hit him in the back of the head.

Phineas leaned against a nearby tree, shaking with laughter. "Dude, you should have seen the look on your face just now."

"Oh yeah?" Dipper smirked as he bent over, packing another snowball in his hands before walking over, depositing the ball inside the hood of the red head's coat.

"Dipper, I don't think-" he shivered as the other boy lifted his hood, effectively dumping the snowball on top of his head. "Touche."

"Truce?"

"Nope." His friend grinned, wiping the snow from his head before lobbing it at him.

As the snow rained down, covering his cap in white powder, Phineas took off, zig-zagging through the trees. Dipper took off after him, only to find the red head skidding to a stop in front of a Spruce Pine. "Aha! I got you now-urk!"

A hand reached back and grabbed him, pulling him back so hard both boys fell to the ground, landing in a sitting position. "Hey man, what the heck?"

Phineas blinked at him, suddenly looking apologetic. "Sorry. I didn't mean to yank you back that hard."

Dipper glared at him, only to turn his attention to what his friend was intently staring at. "Whoa." He pointed to the massive tree in front of them. "Is that-"

"The _ultimate_, the most _spectacular_, most _awesome_ _Christmas_ _Tree_ _ever_?" The red head grinned, pulling him to his feet. "It sure is." He slung an arm around Dipper's shoulders. "Dipper, we just found our Christmas tree."

"That's great, but...how are we going to get it back to your house?"

"Easy." Phineas took off, disappearing among the trees only to reappear seconds later, dragging a sled behind him. "I came prepared."

"There's only two of us and this huge tree. How are we supposed to load it onto the sled?"

"Oh ye of little faith." Phineas went behind the tree, studying it. "All it takes is a little ingenuity and determination." He looked around the tree lot, appearing to take inventory. "Let's see...we have a chain link fence behind us, a sled, ourselves, and management at the front of the lot. Which probably has..." he left the sled, taking Dipper's hand in his, the two walking to the front of the lot. "A rope. Now all we need is some sort of pulley system and we're good to go."

"How do we know they're gonna let us borrow the rope?" Dipper asked.

"Oh, that's the easy part. All we have to do is ask nicely." Phineas let go of his hand, walking up to the managers of the lot. "Excuse me. My friend and I were looking at that big tree over there and we were wondering if we could borrow your rope. We kinda need it to load the tree onto our sled."

"Sure thing." One of the managers handed over the rope. "But, aren't you a little-"

"_Young_ to be rigging up a pulley system? Yes, yes I am." Without waiting for the typical response, Phineas turned to the other boy. "Come on Dipper. Let's go get that tree."

* * *

Minutes later, Dipper found himself staring at a rigged up pulley system. The red head had the rope thrown over a nearby beam and threaded through a pulley they'd found. The other end of the rope was currently dangling in front of him.

"Okay Dipper, take that piece of rope and wind it around the trunk of the tree." Phineas called out from the other side of the chain link fence. "Make sure to tie it tight. Use a Gordian knot if you have to."

He saluted, running around the trunk of the massive tree several times before tying a triple knot and pulling. "All done. Now what?"

"I'm going to use my body as a weight and attempt to pull the tree off the ground from here. My body plus the pulley should lift it off the ground long enough for you to slide the sled underneath. Once you've done that, see if you can ease the tree onto its side. We need it to lay flat."

"Right."

"Start moving the sled on my signal. Or when you see the tree move a few inches off the ground. Whichever comes first." The red head started backing up, pulling on the rope. "The man, in the perfect tree, oh, he's coming to stay at our house. Gonna put him up at our house."

Dipper smirked in amusement. "You're singing while you're pulling?"

"Sure! Why not sing? Makes it go faster." He backed up a few steps, continuing to pull on the rope. "Come on Dipper, take a verse."

"I don't know this song."

"It's easy enough to learn. The next verse goes like this." He started singing again. "Stand him up in a corner, give him a place of his own. And he won't cry anymore. There's not really a man inside a Christmas tree, but you know, it's kinda fun to sing about. Is the tree moving?"

"Not really-wait." His eyes widened and he laughed in disbelief. "The tree's moving! Phineas, your plan worked!"

"Of course it did. Now slide the sled underneath and try to ease the tree onto it."

* * *

_Minutes later..._

Dipper watched in amazement as his friend dragged the tree to the front of the lot, the tree fastened securely to the sled. "Seriously, how did we just do that?"

"Do what?"

"Manage to lift a tree that's bigger than us and load it onto a sled?"

"Well, it's just the basic mechanics of a simple machine. All it really took was the right amount of leverage and a block and tackle."

"No no. I mean..." He placed a hand to his head, slowly moving it over to the top of his friend's head. "We're the similar size and height-"

"You mean small."

"Yeah. Phineas, we shouldn't have been able to move that tree by ourselves."

"You're never to small to do something Dipper. You're only limited by your imagination. All you ever need is an insatiable curiosity, determination and the right resources." The red head gave him an easy smile as they stopped in front of the register. "Of course, having good friends helping you doesn't hurt either." He handed the required bills to the cashier before turning his attention back to his friend. "You know Dipper, sometimes life is about taking risks." He pointed to something above them.

Dipper looked up, cheeks pinking. "Mistletoe."

"Yep." Phineas smiled at him. "You wanna go first or should I? I mean, it _is_ a Christmas tradition. It'd be a shame to let it go to waste." The smile turned to a smirk. "Come on Dipper, Carpe Diem."

He took a deep breath, squeezing his eyes shut as he leaned forward, puckering his lips.

"You look like a fish."

"I've never kissed anyone before!"

"Neither have I. No time like the present." Before he could protest, Phineas leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek. "Merry Christmas Dipper." The red head took the boy's hand in his, the other hand grabbing the sled. "Let's go decorate this tree."

* * *

**A/N 2:** The song Phineas is singing is called Perfect Tree from the Raccoons Christmas Special. You can find the audio on youtube.


	11. Last Christmas (December 2014)

**A/N 1:** So this is a companion piece to Tree Lot Shenanigans. It's a similar story (Phineas and Dipper in a tree lot), except they're older (in their early to mid twenties) and in a relationship. Now this story can be interpreted two ways: it can either be a continuation of Tree Lot Shenanigans that's set about twelve/thirteen years later, or it can be read as a separate story entirely. Either way, Phineas and Dipper are in a relationship and as you are about to read, it's not going so well...  
**Song Used/Inspired By:** The Glee version of Last Christmas. This is also supposed to be a parody of the Glee performance of the song.  
**A/N 2:** I originally wasn't going to post this (as the ending's kind of downer), but I felt that I couldn't upload one of the stories and not the other.

* * *

"I don't know why you brought me here. It's cold, it's _snowing_ and I was happy staying at home and reading a book."

"The reason I brought you here is because, well…" the red head sighed, running a hand over his beanie. "Dipper, look, the reason I brought you out here is because…well, our relationship isn't going so well."

"I already know that."

"I thought if we took the time to be together, even if it's something like picking out a Christmas tree, maybe our relationship could…start to heal."

"The damage is already done." Dipper turned up the collar of his coat, stuffing his hands into his pockets before trudging off toward the back of the tree lot.

Phineas ran after him, stopping in front of the other man. "You can't just leave me like this Dipper." He started singing. "Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, you gave it away—"

"No. You gave _my_ heart away." He pointed a thumb at himself, a look of hurt and anguish on his face. "It wasn't even a full day after Christmas and I caught you making out with Baljeet."

"Hey, I kept my distance from Baljeet as long as I could. And for the record, he pulled _me_ into that kiss."

"Then you should have had the sense to pull away. I was in love with you last year. I helped build an indoor fiber optic Christmas tree with you; I helped you decorate Danville; I helped you, Ferb and Isabella bake dozens of Christmas cookies for the town. And this is how you repay me? By cheating on me?"

"It was an accident."

"Not pulling away from a make out session isn't an accident. You had the power to push Baljeet away and say no." His face hardened. "But you _didn't_. Do you even recognize me anymore? Phineas, do you even _see_ me? We've been living together for a year and—"

"Christmas." The red head looked at him. "Last Christmas, I wrapped up the key to my apartment and gave it to you. I sent it with a note that I said 'I love you.'" He stopped in the middle of the snow, placing a finger underneath his boyfriend's chin. "I meant it then and I mean it now."

Dipper pushed him away. "Don't. Don't try to make it better, don't try to comfort me." He turned sad eyes to the red head. "I was a fool to think I could ever trust you."

Phineas sighed, turning down one row of trees as his boyfriend turned down the other, the two peeking around branches, only stopping to examine a branch or leaf.

"A crowded room, friends with tired eyes. I'm hiding from you and your soul of ice." Phineas stepped out at the end of the row, grabbing his boyfriend by the shoulders.

"My god I thought you were someone to rely on." Dipper pushed him away.

"Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on."

The two circled each other in the middle of the lot. "Face on a lover with a fire in his heart. A man undercover—"

"But you tore me apart."

"Now I've found a real love you'll never fool me again." The red head clamped a hand over his mouth. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. Baljeet was just a fling." He winced. "I mean, a make out session. No! That's not what I meant! I mean—"

"Looks like I wasn't the only one you were lying to. Why don't you just admit it Phineas. You enjoyed making out with him. What does he have that I don't?"

"Nothing." He took a step toward Dipper, only to have the other man take a step back. "Dipper please."

"You can't change what's already been done." He grabbed a Christmas tree, throwing it at the red head. "Here's your stupid tree. I'm staying at Mabel's tonight. Tomorrow, I'm coming over, packing up my stuff and…I'm moving out." He glanced over his shoulder as he left the lot. "Have a Merry Christmas."


End file.
